vulnerability:

can only last a few hours at that maximum. 

therefore remember an old axiom your mother ought to have taught you:
"if you have nothing nice to say,
say nothing at all."


xo.

this land.

i am a velociraptor.

at some point i discovered that it is much easier to be a velociraptor than a girl.

although, strangely enough, we seem to face similar challenges.

[pissings + territories + trustings + betrayals + favourites]

who would have guessed we had so much in common?

it's really quite the wonder.

i'm going to go make some dinosaur noises + gently claw something.

xo.

hatchling

good morning star.shine

---------------->the earth says "hello!"

caleb burton clark

10.11.11

11:19pm

8lbs. 2oz.

I'M AN AUNTY!!!

+ here is my amazing big sister, shandi, looking unbelievably beautiful + radiant holding her new little man!

doesn't she just look stunning? 

seriously: she is gorgeous. 

+ how handsome is he? 

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE I TELL YOU.

as soon as i heard the news i instantly burst into tears.

i have never been so proud + excited + full of giant, crazy love!

my big sister is so brave + courageous + totally rad.

+ she does it w/ style.

i love her so much even if she is terribly far away + i am the world's worst correspondent

--------------->here is big love pouring down from up north!

CONGRATULATIONS SHANDI + BURT!

+ WELCOME TO THE WORLD SROUT!

I LOVE YOU TO TINY PEICES ALREADY!

first + foremost: freckled

once upon a time......


s: i wonder where freckles come from.
k: everybody knows freckles are just fairy ass marks.
s: what?
k: fairy. ass. marks. the fairies just poo'ed all over you when you were a baby + because they are magical poo's, they stuck to you as freckles.
s: that is horrible. i refuse to believe that. freckles are lovely. i like my freckles.
k: i like your freckles too. i like to kiss them. + find constellations in them. but they are fairy ass marks nonetheless. you cannot escape it.
s: i don't know. i feel very strange about this. i think maybe they are fairy kisses.
k: nope. this is why i call you "sarai poo" because you've been blessed by the fairy folk. it's really quite the compliment.
s: this is the worst conversation i have ever had.
k: i love you.
s: i love you too.


ah.
that little slippery seal struck again.
[circa 2000]


xo.

remember.remember

i often forget i have talked to someone.
or that i haven't talked to someone.
i forget what day of the week it is.
i forget names.
sometimes i forget how old i am.


i think memory is slippery
------->even when you're young


i imagine my memory like a tiny seal: 
darting in + out of rivulets of thought
spiraling down inlets + gliding along tides.
he is small + dark + bright eyed.


he is sometimes my friend + sometimes not.
+ sometimes he makes a fool of me.


but he is mine.
+ i am his.
we are a pair.


tomorrow we will try to work together. 
i have been promised nothing.
it will be a wild ride out to sea.
i am looking forward to it.


but for now i am happy:
i know my age + that having little rats get stuck in your shirt is a good way to get tickled, scratched, + nearly squish said rats.
+ no one wants squished rats.


xo.

spill

sometimes i get really into drinking water.
so much so that i usually end up dumping it down my front.
you know: 
you're reallyreally thirsty + you're trying to drink all fast + it starts w/ a little trickle out the side of your mouth between your lip + the rim of the glass, then.....
waterfall.
vampire style.


speaking of water:
it is my teenytinybaby sister's birthday today.
she is 16.
i just woke her up to tell her all about it.
i think she was really pleased.
she has to wake up at 5am or something stupid so i'm sure she appreciates my midnight phone calls.


wondering how water correlates to my littlest sister?
mostly it has to do w/ how she was born.
or what i saw of it.


it was an accident really.
i was 10.
my older sister chelsi + i were waiting patiently, or not patiently at all, whichever, when a nice nurse lady came + told us our new baby sister had been born + we could go in.
well: she was wrong.
but we were pretty stoked to see this new....thing....so in we went.


[in retrospect i have NO IDEA how children like us, doctor's children or no, managed to just WALK IN to things like this]


it was the slip-n-slide from hell.
all blood + screaming.
then WOOSH!
there she was.


so now you know.
i know that story made you feel better.
how could it not?
blood! babies! it has it all.


now i'm thirsty.


xo.

live.

breathe.

keep breathing.

don't lose your nerve.

xo.

man down

all these little flying bugs must go!

i want to read fairytales + get strawberries all over my face.

not have lotion between my thighs + worry about tiny winged creatures suicide bombing my midnight thirst quencher. 

aka my glass of water.

[bastards]

i don't feel their subsequent death at the hands of gluttony is quite enough for what they are doing to me.

they deserve some exile from liquids or a firmly put time out.

what if they are riddled w/ some exotic disease that i will catch + then give to all my friends + family?

what if they are the precursor to the new plague?

side note: does blogger no longer believe in PLURALS?

---------->because it is loath to allow any of mine tonight

i can't help but make up dialog as they swarm:

g: sir, i can see the homestretch! it is w/in reach! 

s: gerald. you are an idiot. can't you see we must descend more discretely if we are to escape the wrath of the giant finger?

g: sir, i apologize. what would you suggest sir? shall we circumvent the finger's natural path by way of the lamp?

s: why gerald, i think you're coming round to reason! ha! let's give it a whirl!

g: ah sir, it seems to be work[SMOOSH]

s: GERALD! NOOOOO!!! 

i now feel somewhat vindicated.

thankyou.

xo.

blasphemy

s: i am a mermaid!

e: i am not! i am drowning!

s: i am a terrible swimmer for a mermaid.

e: that's because you've not got your tail. 

s: that would make it much easier! + i would not drown you...............i still wish i were a better swimmer.

e: you've spent nearly 90% of your life being a mermaid. you just need your tail.

s: thankyou. that makes me feel much better. i should find my tail.

xo.

harry potter

is over. forever.

we are SO SAD.

xo.

fishtails + fingers

sometimes i hang out w/ my littlest sisters + we do sisterish things like: braid hair

+ paint fingernails

it's lovely, really.

xo.

yes. always yes.

if you see a ginormous gummi bear on a stick
------------>you must buy it

i did.

+ i always will.

xo.

little surprises

while going through the music on my computer, aptly named: puck, for all the mischief he causes
[+ also because when i yell at him people always assume i'm yelling "fuck" + i find this endlessly amusing]
i came across a secret mystery cut copy album!


------------->PURE MAGIC.


the album is: zonoscope 
+ i am a little obsessed w/ the first track
so i thought i would share.
i had never seen the music video until this evening


"picture the dreams of buffalo bill from silence of the lambs, w/out all the blood + sex, + this is it"

xo.

she's got the look

there's nothing quite like having your mother pay a tattooed vietnamese man to paint your toes "neon melon."
just sayin'.
haters be damned.
xo.

hello kitten

i am in love w/ dreamcats
as they say:
girls + cats, cats in soft focus, cats on film, dream cats 


+ i do dream about them sometimes.


so it stands to reason that i would be completely enamored w/ a site dedicated to cats captured in a more ethereal + nostalgic nature.


i've taken to looking at it before bed every night
------->something about the muted colors, double negatives + lack of implied meanings make it very comforting
it can also be hilarious.
regardless of the subject: it makes me smile

have sweet kitty dreams my dears.

xo.

i think: yes

i'm pretty sure this should happen.

soon.

i've been thinking a great deal about birthdays + un.birthdays lately

-------->my birthday is just around the corner + it appears not many of my friends + family will be in town

i absolutely love holidays + my birthday comes at a time when holidays are scarce so i tend to be veryvery fond of it + it will be terribly disappointing to not have all my loves together.

in light of that: 

i have embraced the idea of having an: UN.BIRTHDAY!

because, as the chart says, any day can be a holiday w/ friends + champagne!

xo.

daydream

let's go here.
xo.

fits + starts

well hello darlings!
it's been ages, but i had some life to live + there was no interrupting it!
sometimes life just has to.......happen


+ speaking of living:
i've just had my starts, for my very first little garden, sprout + they are delightful!
i am simply bursting w/ pride as i am historically terrible at gardening + this is quite the hurrah!


i'm using these terrific little starts from italy: MicroGiardini 
------------->they are ideal for small spaces + make me smile every morning w/ their little green shoots + bright tin cans
they are all perfectly nestled in my kitchen window, which seems strangely suited for precisely this purpose.


do you get your pretty fingers dirty?
do you have any little green beauties peeking out of the earth?
any tips for a first timer?

xo.

lust.

i have recently become obsessed w/ this beautiful little brand called: nadinoo.
they are out of britain + have the sweetest liberty prints + clean, simple lines.
i am also in love w/ the throwback style of most of the pieces.
aren't they divine?

utterly delish!

xo.